Refuge
by CMW2
Summary: Refuge-anything or anyone to which one has recourse for aid, relief, or escape. After returning from Iraq, a threadbare Zach finds solace in the most unexpected person C/Z friendship and lovemaking. Don't knock it until you try it. NOW COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Okay, time to add yet another branch to my growing fanfic tree. I have been a BONES fan since mid 2008 and one thing that drew me in was Zach. I think he's brilliant and sexy. Yes, I just said sexy. He's got that whole "I'm innocent and sweet and I can build a power source for you out of chicken grease" thing going on. To me, that's sexy.**

**The end of season 3 broke my heart, not only because of the whole disciple of the crazy cannibal thing but because it all could've been avoided. I watched the episode when he returned and something was obviously wrong. Sleeping on a gurney does **_**not**_** mean normal, even for a squint. The only person that really made an effort towards him after Iraq was Cam, leading to this fic.**

**Yes, it is a Zach and Cam fic and **_**yes,**_** I will put them together not just emotionally but physically. I think they would work and I know at least two other authors on here that think so too so I'm not crazy. That being said, I do not want to have 200 messages worth of "EW!" in my inbox. Well, at least without it being read first.**

**Due to lack of time (I have to go to school in less than an hour), the story itself will be put up within the next 3 days or at the latest Wednesday. Thank God for Thanksgiving Break.**

**Read, review, and enjoy**

**~*CMW2*~**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Thank you for your reviews, you guys. Now that I know that I'll have an audience, I can continue. This is going to be a pretty long oneshot (I've gotten good at those) but I will leave it open ended enough for a sequel.**

**This is set in Season 3 but there aren't really any spoilers. I may allude to a couple of things but this is totally an AU and our heroes may a little bit out of OOC but since they're together, they're kinda breaking the mold anyway. *smiles* Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: "Honestly, it's not mine!"**

There was no rationality when it came to emotions.

Sure, they could be compartmentalized and put into neat little boxes but at the end of the day, they were still there in all their ugly glory. Zach Addy understood this fact and had seen many examples, the most common being those related to affection.

His parents' marriage, his older siblings seeking and finding their partners, and to a degree, the various relationships at the Jeffersonian proved it. They fought, they cried, and they were intimate. Their emotional states could be compared to a fierce storm at sea, beautiful but always dangerous.

Before, he could safely say that he had never been affected by the figurative heart. Before, he could believe that he was destined to be alone, that any attempts at romantic attachments (Naomi) would be what Hodgins called, "an Epic Fail." Before, he could be objective in the face of all the lust and love that oozed out of the ones around, immune to their effects. Before, he had achieved a form of peace.

Then, (nobly, bravely, stupidly) he had gone to Iraq.

The brief time he had been there had shaken all of his core values up. Seeing people die and finding the forgotten bones of innocents did that to a person. Now, he didn't know what to think or believe. Every day, he could feel himself drifting further and further away from his old self and it was frightening. What made it worse was that he could not speak with anyone about it.

His family was too far away and his coworkers…well, they would dismiss him. The conclusion had not been formed on conjecture but from experience. Opening up to any of them would result in mocking, indifference, or a useless pep talk. Everyone, even Dr. Brennan, treated him like he was robotic, as if he were above all the petty concerns of life. Before, he had been content to encourage and even play up that assumption but now, it was unacceptable.

Unfortunately, Zach couldn't bring himself to make the necessary changes. As the Army psychologist had so (bluntly, cruelly, coldly) delicately had put it, he had no other place that he belonged but at the lab. If he made his needs known, he may be sent packing…

"Zach!"

Broken from his reverie, he looked at his best friend and lab partner.

"Yes, Hodgins?"

"What were you thinking about? I've been trying to get your attention for the last 5 minutes." Jack asked exasperated.

_How lost I feel. How lonely I feel. How I'm so emotionally stunted that I cannot even be seen as a human being by those who care for me most…_

Instead of saying that, he merely replied, "Nothing important. If a body comes in, I will be downstairs."

His small lab/office would be more conducive to sorting out his troubled thoughts.

_**//////////////**_

"Anyone left, Mike?"

"Dr. Addy's still in his office but other than that, the lab's cleared out."

Camille Saroyan frowned and went back towards the stairs, intent on getting to the bottom of this once and for all. Something was wrong with Zach. At first, it had been really obvious. He was withdrawn and sleeping on gurneys. But, as time passed and they all got used to having him back, the rest of the Squint Squad went back to B.I. (Before Iraq) behavior towards him. That and he had put on this "I'm fine" persona that had them fooled.

Not Cam. She knew better. Seeley had been like this when he had come home but she had taken his "I'm fine" at face value. The only time she had realized that he was anything but was when he had ended up at the hospital she had been working at, the victim of loan sharks. She would be damned if she would let anything like that happen to her Zacharoni.

**Your**_** Zacharoni? Since when did you start thinking of him as yours, Camille?**_

It happened gradually. He had been the only person that hadn't been out and out hostile towards her and his work was brilliant. Not only that but his persistence, going as far as to sacrifice his unique yet totally unprofessional style to get a job from her had impressed her greatly.

Then, she had become fond of him. He never gave her any trouble (except for the occasional shenanigan with Hodgins) and was always respectful, a welcome change of pace from the other grad students she had worked with.

Then, he had left for Iraq.

She had been so scared for him, so scared that she'd see him on the news broken and bleeding, so scared that the higher ups would get a call that they were down one anthropologist. She didn't want to go to another funeral for a friend.

Somehow, all of that combined into the Feelings. Of all people to fall for, it had to be someone almost half her age and so innocent. From what she heard, only one girl had shown an interest in him and that relationship flopped. Apparently, he was too awkward and inhibited for the girl's tastes.

The girl was an idiot.

Stopping at the small door, she typed in the code to unlock it and stepped in. Zach was sitting on a futon, head bowed as if he were praying. Closing the door behind her, she sat down in his rolling chair.

"Zach?"

He stirred and asked, "Yes, Dr. Saroyan?" in such a heavy, tired tone.

"Are you okay? It's past midnight."

"I am aware of the time. I didn't want to return to the space above Hodgins' garage tonight. I have a headache and the last thing I need is to hear easily preventable drama. Hodgins is hurt that Angela has a husband and Angela is hurt because he will not speak to her. Both of them use me as a 5th wall."

"A 5th wall?"

"Someone to rant and rave to with impunity. I am in no mood to hear it. I never am but they don't care. I should be used to that fact." he clarified bitterly.

"What fact?" she asked warily.

Never had she heard him this raw and so calmly angry. Obviously, this wound had been there and festering for a while.

"The fact that I am ignored unless someone needs something from me. It has always been like that and I used to be able to accept that. Dr. Saroyan, I have been an outcast since birth. Never normal, never just a child. It was always genius or freak of nature. There was no middle ground, especially during my time at U of M. When I came here, I finally felt some semblance of acceptance but one that has conditions. As long I do my work, as long as I put up with constant jabs at my lack of outward emotion, as long I was just the robot, I could stay. Before, I could live with that, just happy to be included but now things have changed. _**I **_have changed and the status quo is no longer acceptable."

Every word felt like a kick to the gut. How could he think that? He was important to all of them! He was their Zach, their friend! Of course, they cared! What had they done to make him think otherwise? Cam began running through the last year she had been there and slowly, she could begin to see his viewpoint.

In his mind, he was just another piece of furniture to them, someone that was used for cases but neglected afterwords. Occasionally, that would change. A dinner here, a hug and a screwy experiment there but overall, he was right.

It sickened her.

"Why didn't you say something? Why are you telling me instead of the whole team?" she demanded sadly.

He finally looked at her and she felt pinned by his deep brown gaze.

"Because I knew that no one would care except for you."

_**//////////////**_

It was amazing how easy it was to speak with her.

"You are the only person who shown a genuine interest in me without some form of an ulterior motive. The only other people who have come close are my mother and Dr. Brennan. Eventually, life became too busy for them and they let it go but not you."

"So, you trust me because I've been consistent." she surmised.

He inclined his head in acknowledgment and decided to "go for broke". If she could know about his embittered inner thoughts, then she could certainly know of his attraction to her. It wasn't like he had anything to lose.

"I…have feelings for you. I have since your arrival but I said nothing out of loyalty to Dr. Brennan and then out of fear of being shot by Agent Booth.", he confessed frankly.

She chuckled and then joined him on the futon. He could feel her body heat warm him and smell the sweet scent of honeysuckle. She straddled him and he shivered as a long forgotten heat surged into his groin. Her body seemed to be calling to him, urging him to touch, to kiss, to drown in her. She was so very alive and ripe against him and he trembled with need.

"Please.", he moaned. "Please, let me touch you."

_**//////////////**_

He may be young but he certainly was a man. She could feel the evidence pressing against his jeans, intriguing her. It was amazing. Another man would've just taken her, using her bold move as the green light. It was but Zach was different. He wanted to hear her accept him, approve of him.

"Touch me.", she urged.

Hot hands spanned her waist and with shocking power he pinned her to the mattress. He really was curiously strong, making her wonder if he worked out. It felt like he did. Slowly, delicate fingers slid over her curves, sending waves of delight through her. It had been so long since she had been touched and her body was screaming for more.

Sitting them up, she slowly undressed him, delighting in the creamy skin and muscles she found underneath the black fabric. He swiftly yet carefully removed her clothes and soon she was bare to him. His gaze was more reverent than lustful, although the lust was certainly there. They kissed for a while, tongues twining and dancing. He was an excellent kisser, just a little shy.

"Camille, I have only been with one woman and I was unable to satisfy her. I want this to be different."

Her first name sounded wonderful on his lips, like a caress. His honesty was refreshing as well.

"Okay. What do you think would be a good way to make this different?"

Zach looked at her the way he looked at remains and she saw the solution enter his gaze.

Grabbing her hands, he placed them over his before returning them to her body.

"Guide my hands. Show me what you like."

_**//////////////**_

Once she had given him a baseline, pleasuring her was simple and very enjoyable.

It was a good thing that the lab was empty or everyone would hear her. A shiver went down his spine at the idea. As gratifying as it would be to be caught, it would require a lot of explaining and possibly the dismissal of them both. The very idea was unacceptable.

Camille's nails dug into his back as his fingers thrust within her and her moans were beginning to escalate, a sure sign that she was feeling the bliss that she was supposed to. Eventually, she cried out and trembled beneath him, reaching her peak. Naomi had been incorrect. He was not a sub par lover, just one who needed guidance.

The conclusion comforted him greatly.

"Zach…inside…now… please, now." she gasped as her climax ceased.

His body roared in agreement but he had enough presence of mind to reach for his wallet. Deep within were condoms, freshly rotated out. It had been a habit from his nights with Naomi and he had continued it long after they broke up. At the time, it had been wishful thinking but now…

Her hand stopped him and she said, "I'm on the shot. It's okay. I…I want to feel you."

Far be it from him to deny her anything.

"I will be gentle."

_**//////////////**_

He was gentle but passionate, taking but giving at the same time.

His gaze was riveted on hers, dark and fevered and she couldn't look away.

Eyes really were the window to the soul because she could see everything he was feeling. Pleasure, contentment, curiosity, tenderness… the sadness was still there but now tempered with hope. She had given him hope. Lightly caressing his cheek, she pulled him down for a long, soulful kiss, meeting him halfway.

His moans were soft but deep, the trembling from earlier back but stronger. For his age and inexperience, he had amazing stamina. He held out longer than she had expected but she could feel his need beginning to take over. He was moving deeper, harder, and faster, sending waves of feeling through her. Wrapping her arms and legs around him, she arched into his touch, letting friction and instinct take over.

She fell over the edge again with a long, sultry moan and he surged hard into her once, twice more before pulses of warmth filled her. The kiss broke and he was silent as he released, only his eyes speaking of the ecstasy he felt. Eventually, he stilled and relaxed, slowly withdrawing from her. Reversing their positions, he pulled a nearby blanket over them.

"I will wake you at six. That should give you enough time to go home and change."

Checking the time, she saw that it was about a quarter to four and nodded in agreement.

"What about you?"

"I have a change of clothes here and the decon shower will suit my needs. I…I take it that you want me to keep this to myself?"

"Yeah, but not forever. Let's see if we can make it work before we scream it from the rooftops." she confirmed with a wry smile.

"Screaming from rooftops would result in us being arrested, Camille." he replied obtusely.

_I forgot how literal he is. Gonna have to work on that…_

Looking at him, she saw that instead of his "I don't know what that means" expression, he was smirking. Cam broke into laughter and kissed his cheek. He squeezed her and then surrendered to slumber, quiet snores wracking his frame.

Closing her eyes, she let his heartbeat lull her into peaceful slumber, knowing that because of her, he would be okay.

She had become his refuge.


End file.
